Great Visions
Posted on: 31 July 2008
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"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what ... is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, President, Chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"Who would want to hear actors talk?" -- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this." -- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.
"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." -- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
"Everything that can be invented has been invented." -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981
Labels: Stories
Quirky English
Posted on: 30 July 2008
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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Did you hear about the little old lens maker who fell into his machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
Labels: powerpets, Stories
Different Instructions, Same Purpose
Posted on: 29 July 2008
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A new sign in a bank reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Labels: Stories
Toa Payoh!
Posted on: 28 July 2008
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There's no place better to live in aside from Toa Payoh. Near the amenities, near the schools, near my house - uh wait :P
So yeah, captured this shot at night - the Toa Payoh Landscape.
For English MR today, did the composition entitled "Justice". Good luck to me for my Chinese Paper 2 tomorrow :)
Labels: Experience, school
Job in the Zoo
Posted on: 27 July 2008
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One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.
He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
Labels: Stories
Appreciate What You Have
Posted on: 26 July 2008
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One day, a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country, so he could have his son see how poor country people live.
They stayed one day and one night in the home of a very humble farmer. At the end of the trip, and when they were back home, the father asked his son, "What did you think of the trip?"
The son replied, "Very nice dad."
Then the father asked his son, "Did you notice how poor they were?"
The son replied, "Yes."
The father continued asking, "What did you learn?"
The son responded, "I learned that we have one dog in our house, and they have four.
Also, we have a fountain in our garden, but they have a stream that has no end.
And we have imported lamps in our garden . . . where they have the stars!
And our garden goes to the edge of our property. But they have the entire horizon as their back yard!"
At the end of the son's reply the father was speechless.
His son then said, "Thank you dad for showing me how poor we really are."
Isn't it true that all depends on the lens you use to see life?
One can ask himself what would happen if we give thanks for what we have instead of always asking for more.
Learn to appreciate what you have. Wealth is all in one's point of view.
Labels: Stories
Physics Comes Alive
Posted on: 25 July 2008
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The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen.
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."
The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
Labels: Stories
Spiderman!
Posted on: 24 July 2008
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Yikes - how many of you have seen Spiderman 3? Well well, I've seen Spiderman 4, but it sure looks scary in this particular scene.
I went to the Science Centre for briefing on the Weather Study Project. It's a long term project that spans from 2008 to 2009. This involves the study of the weather in various parts of Singapore. The speeches were boring. Well, at least the food at the SSC was nice...
Quote of the Day: Joshua is always right!
Labels: Experience
Turkey Moral
Posted on: 23 July 2008
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A turkey was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the turkey right out of the tree.
Moral of the Story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Labels: Stories
Friendship
Posted on: 22 July 2008
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This is a story about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought a war in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.
The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.
Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the eternal family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!! There's a miracle called Friendship That dwells in the heart You don't know how it happens Or when it gets started But you know the special lift It always brings. And you realize that Friendship Is God's most precious gift!
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend their ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care....
Labels: Stories
Wings of Angels
Posted on: 21 July 2008
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Today, I found out that my friend's dad had passed away. Would like to dedicate this poem to him:
A gentle wind blew cross the land
Reaching out to take a hand
For on the winds the angels came
Calling out a mother's name.
Left behind, the children's tears
Loving memories of the years
Of joy and love, a life well spent
And now to God a mother's sent.
On angel's wings, a heavenly flight
The journey home, towards the light
To those who weep, a life is gone
But in God's love, 'tis but the dawn.
(By Tim Chambers)
Labels: school
New Blog!
Posted on: 20 July 2008
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Welcome all of you to my new blog! It'll take some time to get used to the design as much as it would take up some of my time to refine the design. This blog will also be used to feature highlights of the Upcoming EPL 08-09 Season.
Well, on Powerpets, I've just completed a banner for a close friend of mine :) Feeling really happy at what I've accomplished today.
With mastery review coming up in just 2 weeks, it's better that I leave all the story telling and life experiences for another time :)
Mastery Review Schedule for my reference:28/7 - English (1 hr 40 mins)
29/7 - Chinese (1 hr 30 mins)
30/7 - SS (45 minutes)
31/7 - Chemistry (45 minutes)
1/8 - A' Maths (45 minutes)
Labels: powerpets
